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Article Info:

Views: 466
Author: Linda LaPointe

Home For The Holidays: Visiting Aging Parents

by: Linda LaPointe

Joanne returned home after not seeing her parents for about 6 months. She found her dad is not doing nearly as well as he has been leading her to believe. Their weekly conversations were centered on talking about Joanne’s mom who had been ailing. Her dad had kept up the façade that he was taking great care of her and all was well.
She found out differently. The house was a mess and had not been cleaned well in some time and needed quite a bit of maintenance as things were starting to fall apart. Bottles of pills were outdated indicating they hadn’t been taking them as prescribed. The refrigerator was almost empty of nourishing food. She felt guilty, why hadn’t she seen it before, seen it coming, read between the lines?
But the truth is that an elders situation can deteriorate quite quickly: a year, 6 months even 3 months can make a big difference in one’s abilities. Each person and situation and condition is different.
Here’s what to look for if you’re going home to aging parents. This list is based upon the three areas that first indicate a need for more oversight and assistance.
Personal care

dirty clothing
dirty hair or body
appear unkempt
dust in the bathtub
home in disrepair or disheveled


more snacks than real food in the house
very old or outdated food items in pantry


too many/too few pills in bottles
old med bottles, no new refills
still display symptoms that meds should alleviate

Other general areas

unexplained dents in the car
not leaving the house for a week or more
angry or passive, offensive or defensive
bills or mail piled up
utilities or appliances not working
scorched pans

Most people move to assisted living or nursing homes due to these situations, and not because they are chronically ill and need nursing care. If you see 2 or more of any of these, it is time to discuss the need for a medical check up and possible non-medical assistance to avoid further deterioration. If addressed early enough people may be able to stay in their homes longer and that is what everyone wants.

About The Author

Linda LaPointe, MRA is an ElderLife Matters Coach and is the author of several products to help families, including the educational board game, In My Shoes: An Aging Family. See them and get free articles and information at www.SOSpueblo.com


This article was posted on November 06, 2003

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